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The Ritual (2017)

Culty goings-on in Sweden in a not too bad Brit horror

Rating: ★★★☆☆

This review was written 2 years too late

CUDDLY Sweden. Home to Ikea, Volvo and giant goaty-type creatures fond of disembowelment.

Four chaps, mourning the death of an old friend, remember his last wishes by hiking through a remote Swedish landscape. One of them gets knee-knack so they opt for a short cut to civilisation through a scary forest – this film’s equivalent to going down into the basement.

There you go. There’s your set-up. Cue mostly at-night nastiness as the lads get spooked and attacked – mentally and physically – as they try to make it to the other side of the forest.

It’s not a slash-fest though but has a fair amount of antler-styled gore and eviseration. Enjoy the head-fuckery as the gang endure a rough night in a dodgy-looking shack with weirdo effigies. Laugh at the pallid cult-types who seem a salvation but of course are not.

No one of note fills the cast, bar Timothy Spall’s son Rafe and Patrick Troughton’s grandson Sam (they’ll both thank me for referencing them thus) but all involved handle the fun well enough.

All familiar stuff – these films are a bit of a ritual these days (sorry) – I’m sure you’d agree, but pretty well done all the same and worth a look if you like a bit of nastiness.


Shaun the Sheep

Shaun the Sheep

Shaun the Sheep (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

He’s Shaun the Sheep,
He’s Shaun the Sheep.
He even mucks about
With those who cannot bleat.

Keep it in mind…
He’s one of a kind!
Oh, life’s a treat
with Shaun the Sheep.

He’s Shaun the Sheep (he’s Shaun the Sheep),
He’s Shaun the Sheep (he’s Shaun the Sheep),
He doesn’t miss a trick
Or ever lose a beat (lose a beat).

Perhaps one day…
You’ll find a way!
To… come and meet
With Shaun the Sheep.

Ohhh, come and bleat,
With Shaun the Sheep! (Baa!)

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More random thoughts

Keep hearing Do they know it’s Christmas on radio. Keep thinking of Transformers dancing to it.

Gary Neville has a knackered piece of Velcro for a ‘tache.

Celeriac mashes up well.

I’ve no time for the knowing smugness of the Shrek movies.

There was one other thing but it’s lost in the Guinness.

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